On 14th
December, 2013 at 13:11, GMT, China’s Chang’e 3 spacecraft shut off its engines
and plunged to the surface of the moon.
With this descent China has become the third country to land a craft of
the Moon, with the last being the Soviet Union’s Luna 24 in 1976.
The Chang’e
3 is part of a larger programme that will scour the solar system to find an
environment that is less suitable for human life than the smog that currently
surrounds Beijing, having recently been named as one of the most dangerous
places to live in the Solar System. In contrast, the moon is currently
estimated to have a rating of ‘half a Beijing’ in terms of damage to human
health, while it is believed that the searing sulphurous clouds of Venus would
treat a human better than the Chinese treat defiant Tibetan monks.
 |
| The smog situation in Shanghai worsens. Here, citizens are resorting to air bending in an attempt to clear the pollution |
The landing
of the lunar craft has also created the first extra-planetary incident between
nations. NASA’s Lunar Atmosphere and
Dust Environment Explorer (LADEE) is studying the dust in the atmosphere, the
landing of the Chang’e 3 spacecraft has released large amounts of exhaust gas
which the LADEE craft will be expected to sort through. This incident was minor compared to what
followed.
Seven hours
after landing the moon rover Yutu drove off Chang’e 3’s ramp and started to
explore the lunar surface. The
six-wheeled, 140-kilogram rover sent a small radio message to the LADEE spacecraft,
subsequently translated by NASA scientists as reading ‘Suck it, USA’ and ‘the
next century belongs to [China]’ along with a small jpeg image of the lead
engineers of the Beijing Aerospace Control centre grabbing their genitals and
miming lewd sexual acts. While the cost of transmitting this message was approximately
enough money to give employees manufacturing Apple’s Siri at the FoxCom plant
“a decent wage”, there appears to be near universal support for the gesture
amongst Chinese citizens and much of the world.
Before NASA
were able to respond, the Yutu rover made its way to the site of the famous
Apollo moon landing where it removed the American flag planted in the
ground. The flag has been bleached white
by space radiation, with Jun Yan, chief scientists of China’s lunar exploration
programme, suggesting that the bleaching is a “convenient metaphor” for
America’s “surrender to China’s scientific and economic might.”
NASA
finally responded with a message posted on the their website, stating “We are
delighted by the actions of the Chinese Cosmonauts”. David Steiz, head of
Technology and Commercialisation at NASA, later clarified “it is [NASA’s] hope
that this new communist superpower reaching the moon will reinvigorate funding
in the space programme”. Mr Steiz also
mentioned that previous attempts to raise funds through “wonder, public pride
and the predicted economic benefits of space travel inspiring the next
generation of engineers and physicists” have all failed and now they are hoping
that this “new red menace” can restart a space age not seen since the glory
days of the cold war.
David
Cameron, the British Primer minister, has also been prompted to start a British
Space Agency after mistaking the bleached white American flag for that of
France.
Liam
That’s no moon, that’s a well-written
article
