Saturday 6 June 2015

Fish Undergoes Sex Change in Biologically Encoded Process


The world was left reeling last week when the clownfish Marlin, of Finding Nemo fame, revealed that he transitioned to a female following the tragic death of mating partner Coral, as is entirely normal and natural for members of the Amphiprion ocellaris species.

Marlin debuted as Marilyn on the cover of the July edition of Manatee Fair, propelling the concept of transgender fish into the public eye. Expressing a desire to be referred to by female fish pronouns and talking about how she was finally able to “be herself”, she said: “Once Coral died, I needed to spend some time to really find out who I was. Turns out I was the most aggressive male left in my group and needed to become female to establish my dominance over the others to enhance my reproductive success.”

“I suppose I always knew that to be true,” she added.

Marilyn, who now produces eggs instead of sperm clouds, has also hit out at the studio behind the film that shot her into the limelight back in 2003, Finding Nemo, while her possible role in the upcoming Finding Dory sequel hangs in the balance amid accusations of transphobia.

Equality rights campaigner
Chris Brown hailed Marilyn
as "courageous".
“Finding Nemo was supposed to be a documentary about the struggles my family endured following most of my offspring being eaten, including my sex change,” explains Marilyn. “Instead, Pixar glossed over my transition entirely and focussed on the search for my son, which again was presented in a way that the anthronormative audience would be comfortable viewing.”

“I only wanted to find him because he was the last viable mate left in my reproductive social hierarchy.”

Marilyn, who still enjoys curling up on Saturday nights in the comfort of her anemone watching plankton become stung and ensnared by cnidocytes, is also famous for holding the world record for longest distance travelled by a lightweight clownfish, earning her gold in the early 2000s.

However, a controversial petition has started on Change.org requesting that her gold be rescinded, stating: “We must ask whether it is proper that Marilyn retains her gold, given that at the time of competing she was a hermaphroditic fish, putting her in an unfair playing ocean with her competitors. #givebackthegoldfish”. The Oceanic Olympic Committee is yet to comment.

In related news, former athlete Bruce Jenner has transitioned to become the woman Caitlyn Jenner for reasons seemingly unrelated to social dominance, reproduction or the ingestion of the Kardashian family by a large barracuda.

Ryan