Animal Rights Activists Protest Physicists

A recent report by animal rights activists has condemned physicists for observing and killing cats in captivity.

Animal experimentation is a key component of research in Biology, and has undergone various transformations over the decades to make the practice more ethical.  Natalie Rose, from EPR (Ethics, Peace, Responsibility), has recently published concerns on her website that other branches of science are ignoring these ethical guidelines.

“Quantum Physicists”, she writes “are killing our fellow creatures at an alarming rate.”  She claims to have evidence that physicists at universities worldwide are undertaking the practise in which “[cats] are ordered in from Vienna...They arrive in a box...the box is opened and [the cats] are promptly killed by the physicist“.

She went on to say that although they have been unable to “observe the state of the felines during transit from Vienna,” they believe that the cats are “unhealthy and most likely near death.”

When pressed if the organisation had enough information to justify these accusations, Rose replied “we know that wrong is being done, a few little observations aren’t going to change anything.”  She added “...we’re not against all animal research.  We understand its importance in cancer cures, stem cell research, vaccination and of course cosmetics.”

The apparent nobility of her cause was thrown into question when it was revealed that she had recently ended a relationship, on bad terms, with a physicist.  When asked if this was effecting her judgement, these concerns were dismissed. “Whatever small level of entanglement there once was between myself and a member of the physics community, it now belongs in the past. It has not clouded my judgement.”  She concluded by saying “we were just two very different people, as different as wave and particles.  It was bound to collapse at some point.”

Liam